


Confessions of a Murderer

by AltanHal



Series: You desired my attention but denied my affections [1]
Category: SB19 (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, M/M, POV First Person, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, dont forget to stream go up and alab, here eat some bubog, how can everything right go wrong so fast, lumakad ng may bubog sa paa yeah
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:22:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24656782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AltanHal/pseuds/AltanHal
Summary: Stell was a victim and Ken was innocent. Sejun confesses to the murder of his own soulmate. A SeKenTell au.Soulmate AU wherein the moment you meet your soulmate, the last words you hear from them before they die appears on your skin like a tattoo.(Pag nagtagpo na kayo ng soulmate mo, lalabas sa balat mo na parang tattoo ang huling mga salitang maririnig mo galing sa kanila bago sila mamatay.)
Relationships: John Paulo Nase | Sejun/Felip Jhon Suson | Ken, Stellvester Ajero | Stell & Felip Jhon Suson | Ken, Stellvester Ajero | Stell/John Paulo Nase | Sejun
Series: You desired my attention but denied my affections [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1812583
Comments: 4
Kudos: 10





	Confessions of a Murderer

**×××**

**"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I confess to the murder of my own soulmate."**

**×××**

Your smile was something shy and polite back then, but I was too taken by Stell's radiance that I failed to appreciate you.

Stell was all light and sunshine while you were night and dim stars.

Just like me, you laughed at all of Stell's jokes, taken by him too but not as much as how you were enamored with me.

I knew it then, that two souls finally met and like a love struck fool, all my adoration fell on Stell. I didn't even pay attention to how your eyes brightened everytime I turned to you.

You, who bit your lip to keep yourself calm whenever I talked to you.

But fate is a cruel thing, isn't it? Because when I went home after meeting you and Stell, my soulmark had manifested on my right wrist, where my pulse is.

**_joh n pau lo ma hal ki ta_**

It said, written brokenly and in an ugly hand writing as if it is spoken while in tremendous pain. I immediately thought of Stell then. Imagining him saying his final words to me before dying. But the thought was chilling, I was afraid of that ever happening so I promised myself I won't ever tell any one my friends my real name.

I constantly wore a wrist watch to hide my mark. 

Everyone called me Sejun and that's the name I responded to. Stell was especially sweet whenever he called me and I wished I could hear him say my real name.

And then there you were, stalking my facebook account for any hint of it. You were really funny for doing that but you didn't find any clues so you turned to Stell.

Stell, who in all secrecy, had been stalking all my accounts before you did just to know more about me.

"John Paulo," Stell had called me once and my heart had raced so fast I thought I was going to have a heart attack.

I made him promise not to call me by that name. Made him swear never to even say it regardless of my being present. He promised and I thought everything would be fine after that.

Well, up until you annoyed me so much by calling my real name, again and again just for the hell of it.

I knew your real name. And as retribution, I called you by that name repeatedly. It made you shut up and everything was peaceful once more.

Months pass and my certainty that Stell was the one had come to a hundred percent.

Stell was my complimentary soul. The one who shared a piece of myself in him. It felt like coming home whenever we went out for a date.

Ah, yes. It wasn't really a date because Stell was adamant that you come along, so there was always three of us instead of just him and I. I wasn't even sure who the third wheel was between you and me.

So there we were. Just three guys having a good time. And wasn't it all good? I thought it would have been better if it were just Stell and I, but so long as Stell wanted you to tag along, I really couldn't call our hang outs as a date.

But one day there was some strange sickness. You were the first to come down with it, so you opted to stay behind in the studio (where you slept so you wouldn't have to be late). Stell wanted to go eat at a ramen place and I saw it as my chance to have him all for myself.

The ramen was nice and all, but I thought I got the sickness too, because I really didn't feel like eating that afternoon and I felt like my head was going to explode.

Stell was patient with me. Gave me plenty of water and let me rest on his shoulder until I could finally walk on my own. It was at that moment that I blurted it out:

"Stell, gusto kita."

I was far too sick to even register what I said but I knew I said it sincerely. Stell smiled at me but didn't say anything. He escorted me back to the studio, told me to sleep there instead of head home for fear of spreading the illness to my family.

You were curled up in your sleeping bag, looking miserable covered in sweat. I must have looked just as horrible because of that damn sickness. I laid out my own sleeping bag on the other side of the studio but decided to put it next to yours so I can at least keep you company. 

How odd we probably looked, sweaty and delirious next to each other. You were so out of it that you reached for my hand and held it.

"Sejun, love kita," you mumbled and as if I was high on drugs, I giggled at you.

We were so sick that we probably were whispering youtube recipes to each other.

But all that mattered not the next morning, because amazingly, we conquered whatever flu it was and was right as rain just by sleeping it off.

I was so surprised by our quick recovery that I almost forgot that I had unwittingly confessed to Stell.

It was too big a thing to miss though, hence I was still nervous about what was going to happen after. Would Stell reject me? Accept me? I was so scared I could quit being a trainee and just live in the mountains.

But Stell.

Beautiful, talented, loveable Stell, arrived in the studio heading straight for me with a grin on his face.

"Sejun, gusto rin kita."

Was what he said to me and I was so stunned, so afraid I was getting what I wanted that I completely missed the way you pretended not to cry.

I was too high in cloud nine that I never really got to understand why you were not coming to our usual three way hang outs anymore despite Stell inviting you. I even invited you myself once but you declined.

That's when I spent less and less time with you, while you spent more time watching anime in isolation.

I didn't really pay attention to you anymore because as a man totally in love with my soulmate, I didn't care what happened to the world, so as long as I get to be by Stell's side, and he never ever says those horrible words written on my wrist.

Maybe it really is preordained that the three of us be together again, because on that flawed day of fate, we had to take the company car to one of our shoot locations.

Kuya Yuri was on vacation and only Stell had an unexpired driver's license between us three, so it was only logical that he drive. 

I remember that day so well.

I remember vividly how you frowned before getting in the back seat while I rode shotgun. Stell was a careful driver, the most defensive one I know and I trusted him to safely get us to our destination.

You and I were arguing who gets to use the bluetooth and play some songs, when I suggested we ask Stell to choose between us.

Stell actually gave it some thought, probably torn if he should pick me, his soulmate, or his best pal who he finally got to hang out with after so long.

It took Stell very long to choose so you sighed out loud and opened your mouth to comment:

"Stell, ako piliin mo."

But Stell didn't get to choose because instead of looking at the road, he twisted to look at you in the eye, his face pale and looking urgent all of a sudden.

" _Ken, ano sinabi mo_ —" 

And then the world turned black.

I woke up to beeping sounds and feeling like I was hit by a truck.

Because I was. We were.

Josh and Justin were there standing beside the bed I laid on, looking so grievously worried. Josh explained what had happened.

On our way to the shoot, a truck hit us and our vehicle had toppled over by the force of it. I was the first to wake up hours after the accident. 

You and Stell were in critical condition.

Did you know how tortured I was knowing that you two could never wake up? I was scared to death. Terrified of what happened and what could happen after.

I was desperate, you see. I wanted to see Stell and beg him to wake up. And if he did, I will shut his mouth if he ever speaks those words on my wrist.

It's taboo to speak of. I didn't want to hear those words from him when he's knocking on heaven's door like that. 

But he woke up. Oh god Ken, he woke up and the first thing he said to me was:

"Si Ken? Kamusta si Ken? Nasan si Ken? _Sejun, nasan si Ken_?!"

Stell looked so scared then and I didn't understand why he asked about you first instead of me. He must have seen my confusion because he pulled the collar of his hospital gown aside, and then there, written in beautiful cursive on his left collar bone were the words:

**_Stell ako piliin mo_**

Those were your words. The last thing you told Stell before that truck hit us. 

And Ken, you don't know. You don't know how Stell tore off the IV needle from his hand to come to you. You don't know how hard I struggled to stop him because every step he took closer to you, he became paler and paler until his eyes rolled to the back of his head, and he slumped on the floor unconscious.

He was still in a bad shape but he fought to get to you.

He woke up because deep in his very being he had to be with you. Your words on his skin meant only one thing.

The last words of a soulmate before death comes for them.

Ken, it was painful. Did you know it was painful? For me to know that Stell wasn't mine right before your time? That Stell only ever knew on that day that it was you, not me, and that he would never likely be with you at all?

You deserved to know about this no matter how agonizing it may feel.

So then, I went. I went to you and I cried. You looked so broken on that bed, so many tubes connected to you and a hundred different beeps echoed around you.\

Was it the noise of my arrival that pulled you from never truly waking up? Or was it my skin touching yours when I reached for your hand?

It didn't matter because your eyes opened at the contact. Like you were trying to witness the world one last time and that I was the one giving you a final tour.

Tale as old as time, your eyes met mine and something in me felt fixed. Like clockwork that had been broken right from the start.

You smiled at me despite the pain, that cheeky little grin you usually do even if the oxygen mask hindered you. You held my hand tight as if you didn't go through an accident at all, and I let you. Your skin on my skin felt warm and _right._

"Sejun, ikaw yan diba?" You asked me and the hoarseness of your voice brought a heaviness in my eyes. The tears fell freely because gone was your soothing deep voice, replaced by this rough whisper that showed you were on the last line.

"Oo, Ken. Ako to si Sejun," was what I replied but you laughed softly at that. 

"Sabi na eh. Oras ko na talaga," you told me and the lump in my throat refused to back down, I tried to tell you that it's not true, that you will live to see the next day, that Stell is waiting for you, but my voice had failed me. My throat was too painfully tight and my tears have devolved into heart wrenching wails.

Crying openly, I grasped your hand tighter, hoping to tell you so many things, wanting to hold you back but no words came and my knees had gone weak.

"Sejun, Sejun," you called weakly and I desperately wanted to answer but the words got stuck in my throat.

The heart rate monitor slowed but I was deaf to that, only hearing the low heartbreaking ardor of your final words:

"John Paulo, mahal kita."

And then your hand went limp in mine.

Felip Jhon did you know? That I died along with you on that day. That I am alive now but my soul entangled with yours left my body the moment you died.

Because on that hand I held, on your wrist where no pulse jumped, written in my neat handwriting were the words:

**_Oo Ken ako to si Sejun_**

**×××**

Sabing sandali, ba't nagmadali?  
Teka lang, teka lang, teka lang muna  
Sa'n nagkamali? Pwede bang bumawi?  
Teka lang, teka lang, teka lang muna  
Masyado pang maaga  
Para mawala ka

**×××**

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Sorry na. ;;n;; Nasaktan din ako sa sinulat ko eh.
> 
> So for those na mejo confused. Soulmate ni Stell si Ken, pero ang true soulmates talaga ay si Ken at Sejun.
> 
> Everything was in Sejun's point of view at habang nagkukwento sya, si Ken yung kinakausap nya (but Ken is dead so just imagine it as Sejun visiting his grave to talk to him).
> 
> I dropped hints about the soulmate connections between the characters.
> 
> Stell always wants Ken to come on their hang outs because instinct na nya na gustong laging katabi nya si Ken. Hindi din nakita ni Stell yung truck habang nagd-drive kasi sobrang gulat nya sinabi ni Ken yung soulmark nya. In that moment narealize nya na si Ken yung soulmate nya.
> 
> First meeting palang ni Sejun at Ken, ramdam na ni Ken na si Sejun ang soulmate nya pero hindi sya masyadong napansin ni Sejun kasi distracted sya kay Stell. Gusto malaman ni Ken kung si Sejun nga ba talaga soulmate nya kaya nya inistalk ang socmed accounts at hinanap real name ni Sejun. Nung nagkasakit si Ken, nagkasakit din si Sejun. Nung nagkasama silang matulog ng holding hands, gumaling sila sabay. Nasaktan si Ken nung naging si Sejun at Stell kaya di na sya sumasama sa dalawa.
> 
> I also posted this on wattpad. My username is ali_nasejun.
> 
> Any more questions? Please leave a comment! :)
> 
> Ps. Ako si @ali_nasejun on twitter. :D


End file.
